Joey Klein Grab your free copy →

90,000+ people trainedFortune 500 and the UN Peace Summit

Your strategy works everywhere. Except at home.

You have built something. The company works, the results are there, and people listen when you talk. Then you walk in your own front door and none of it seems to count for much. All your money cannot buy the genuine love of the person who matters most to you. You want to feel close to them, to know they are in your corner. This book gives you a place to start with the one thing you can control: yourself.

Grab your free copy →

The book is free. You cover $9.97 shipping in the US. No subscription, nothing to cancel.

By Joey Klein

24 years 90,000+ people trained Fortune 500 and the UN Peace Summit
Relationship Alchemy by Joey Klein, front cover

Trusted by

Boeing, Dell, Coca-Cola, IBM, UMB and Carpet One
How I learned this

Have you ever tried to fix a relationship by working harder at it?

Years ago I was seeing someone long distance who told me early on that she was a little insecure, and asked me to help her with it. I like to figure things out and succeed, so I thought: great, let’s fix this. She asked me to call every day. I called every day. It took about a week for daily calls to stop being enough.

So I called twice a day. Then late at night after training, bone tired, only to be asked why I was calling so late and who had just left. The harder I worked at it, the worse it got. It ended in my living room with her scanning the place to see whether a photograph of us had been moved.

I tell you that because I was the one doing everything right and getting nowhere, and because I was wrong about what I was fixing. I could not change her insecurity for her. Nobody can do that for another person. What I could change was how I was showing up, and that turned out to be the whole game.

Joey Klein and his wife together in their kitchen on an ordinary morning

When effort backfires

Every other problem in your life gave way when you put more into it. This one digs in when you push on it.

When focus feeds the problem

Where your attention goes, your energy follows. Most of us give our attention to the part of the relationship that hurts, and then wonder why it grows.

When nothing sticks

You have done the work already. A weekend, a course, a run of sessions. It was good while it lasted and then the old pattern walked back in the door.

Where the change actually happens

We do this work from the inside out.

Most relationship advice points you at the other person. Say it this way. Split the load fairly. Agree who does what. You have probably tried some version of that, and you found what everyone finds: you cannot reach the other person from where you are standing. They are the one part of this you do not control.

Your relationships cannot grow beyond you.

What you do control is your side of it. The vision you hold for the relationship. The expectations you set, first with yourself. The boundaries you are willing to keep. How you show up before a word is said. Move your side and the relationship moves with you, which is why we start with you and work outward. That is the whole book, and it is why I called it alchemy rather than advice.

THE OTHER PERSON THE TACTICS HOW YOU SHOW UP YOU

You are the one ring you can control, and it is the ring the others respond to. Start at the center.

Joey Klein and his wife dancing together

Your relationship is 100% you. Not fifty.

Half of it is the standard advice: meet in the middle, both of you put the work in. It is also why the standard advice stalls. You cannot do your fifty and wait. The one variable you can move is the one that changes everything, and it was on your side of the table the whole time.

100% Your side of the table

Your success does not travel home with you.

Romantic relationships

You provide, you fix, you push, and none of it reads as love to the one person you most want it to. The one who was supposed to be in it with you is starting to feel like a roommate.

What you want instead

Someone who is glad to hear your key in the door.

Personal relationships

Your kids get the tired, half-there version of you. The friendships that shaped you have slipped down the list over the years. Everyone assumes you are fine, and on paper you are.

What you want instead

Kids who know you will be there when it matters, and the friends who knew you before the title.

Professional relationships

Your team performs and still does not fully trust you. Partners respect the results and keep you at arm's length. You lead all of it, and you are somehow alone at the top of it.

What you want instead

A room that opens up to you once you are in it.

Joey Klein and his wife sitting together, holding hands and laughing
This is what the work is for.
Being close to them again.
  • 14 chaptersWorked in order, on one relationship
  • Free, paperback, mailedYou cover $9.97 shipping in the US
  • Short enough to finishThen test it on something real
  • Keep it either wayRefunded if nothing shifts
Joey Klein holding a copy of Relationship Alchemy
The author of the book

Joey Klein.

I grew up in a house that ran on screaming matches and long silences, and I had a feeling from early on that relationships were supposed to work some other way. At nineteen I nearly died getting out of a hard-partying life. That was the year I went looking for the other way in earnest.

The search took me to a dojang in Kansas, an ashram in Varanasi, and a clinical psychologist’s office in Beverly Hills. It made me a three-time world champion in Hwa Rang Do and put me on stage at the United Nations International Peace Summit in 2005. Since then I have spent 24 years training people through Inner Matrix Systems. Ninety thousand of them and counting: founders, executives, high achievers who had solved everything except the relationships with the people closest to them.

I am also married, and my wife, Caitlyn, and I built our relationship on exactly what is in this book: a vision each, then a shared one, then the expectations and boundaries that hold it. I am not writing to you from theory. I ran this in my own life first, and the photographs on this page are the two of us.

I did not write this book to be the last thing you ever read about relationships. I wrote it as a starting point, because I do not want it ending up in the “Shelf Help” section of your bookcase. Your relationships matter that much.

90,000+
People trained
24
Years doing this
3×
World champion, Hwa Rang Do
UN
Peace Summit, 2005
What is in it

It starts with a vision.

In order to create what you want, you have to name what you want. That is chapter one, and everything after it points back to that. You work it on a real relationship of your own, not a case study, and it gives you four things.

01

A vision for the relationship

Start with what you want for your own life, then understand what the other person wants for theirs. A shared vision gives you somewhere to go together. The book walks you through finding it, even if you have been together for years.

02

Ownership of your own state

Your emotions belong to you, and so does the way you show up carrying them. They were trained in you long before you had a say in the matter. Still, nobody else can manage them but you.

03

Expectations you have actually said out loud

Name your needs, wants and desires: the non-negotiables, what’s important, and what would be nice to have. Then say what meeting them actually looks like, so the other person can agree to something specific instead of trying to guess.

04

Boundaries, and the conversations that hold them

A boundary is the container your expectations sit in, and if you let one be negotiated, you never set it in the first place. The last third of the book is how to say the hard thing and stay in the room afterward.

Fourteen chapters, working outward from you.

Four on you, four on the relationship, five on the other person, and one letter at the end. Each one opens with a line Joey invites you to earn.

01

It Starts with a Vision

In order to create what you want, you have to name what you want.

p. 31
02

Your Alignment with Vision

You’re either moving toward vision, or you’re headed somewhere else.

p. 51
03

Emotions and Accountability

We don’t create from where we think we are. We create from where we actually are.

p. 67
04

Setting Expectations for Yourself

Unfulfilled expectations are the cause of pain and suffering in relationships.

p. 91
05

Understanding the Relationship

Your relationship will never grow beyond you.

p. 107
06

Defining Boundaries

Boundaries are the way we uphold expectations.

p. 117
07

Communication

Just because words are being spoken doesn’t mean communication is taking place.

p. 127
08

Sabotaging and Saving the Relationship

If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.

p. 141
09

Know the Other Person

It takes two to tango.

p. 157
10

Expectations and the Other Person

No one person will meet all of your expectations.

p. 169
11

Expectation Challenges

Expectations are the root of all suffering.

p. 181
12

Vision and the Other Person

Freedom lies in the ability to accept the other person.

p. 189
13

Vibrant Routines

Intentions don’t translate to new outcomes. Consistent, aligned action over time does.

p. 201
14

My Hope for You

A letter, and the one question the whole book comes down to.

p. 207
Paperback copies of Relationship Alchemy by Joey Klein
The offer

A physical copy of the book, mailed to your door.

A paperback copy arrives in your mailbox. The book itself costs you nothing. The $9.97 covers what it takes to mail it to you, and that is the only money that changes hands.

  • The book, free. Yours to keep whatever you decide afterward.
  • $9.97 shipping inside the US. Charged once, and that is the whole transaction.
  • No subscription behind it. Nothing starts charging you later and there is nothing to cancel.
Grab your free copy →

The book is free. You cover $9.97 shipping in the US. No subscription, nothing to cancel.

From readers

What readers are saying.

After 28 years of marriage, we were headed for divorce. This book literally saved our relationship. We’re now closer than we’ve ever been.
Linda W.Marriage
I finally have a great relationship with my teenage daughter. The tools in this book work even with the most challenging people.
Sarah M.Family
My business partnerships are thriving, my team respects me, and even my relationship with my ex-wife has healed. This book changed everything.
Michael T.Work

Reader testimonials from joeyklein.com.

Why the book is free.

I did not write this to sit on a shelf. I wrote it as a starting point, and the quickest way to show you it works is to let you run it once on a relationship that actually matters to you.

So the book is free. The $9.97 covers what it takes to ship it to you, and that is the only thing you pay for.

If it does for you what it has done for thousands of other people, you will want to know what else we do. If it does nothing for you, you have a book, and that is where it ends.

Joey Klein
Author, Relationship Alchemy
Joey Klein and his wife walking together
No surprises

What happens after you order.

01 Straight away

You tell us where to send it

One page, one charge of $9.97. Nothing recurring and nothing that starts charging you later.

02 Same minute

An optional video training

Offered once, and the book is complete without it. Saying no takes one click.

03 Within a few days

Your book is mailed

Your confirmation email has the order details in it.

04 When it suits you

A Pattern Fix call

A session with a senior member of Joey's team to discover the pattern driving your relationship. Optional, and an accelerant to the book.

Joey Klein and his wife together
Get the book

Pick one relationship and start there.

One relationship that matters to you, and a book that costs you $9.97 to have shipped.

Grab your free copy →

The next step is to tell us where to send it.

The Keep-It-Anyway Guarantee

Read it, work the method on one relationship, and if nothing shifts, email us and we will refund the $9.97. We are not asking for the book back. There is no version of this where you are out of pocket and holding nothing.

Before you order

Common questions.

Is this really free?
The book is. The $9.97 is what it costs us to ship a physical copy inside the US. There is no trial, no subscription and nothing that starts charging you later.
Does it work if the other person will not read it?
That is the situation the book is written for. Everything in it is work you do on your own side of the relationship, which is the only side you can control. Nobody else has to read a page of it, and in my experience they usually notice the change before they hear about the book.
What if I am afraid to rock the boat?
You may have built a whole life together. Looking closely at what is not working can feel like putting all of it at risk. You do not have to decide the future of the relationship before you open the book. Start by getting clear about what you want and how you are showing up. You can begin that work at any stage, including years into a difficult relationship. It can help you rebuild together or, if you choose to part, do so with greater clarity and care. Either way, learning how to relate to each other is worthwhile.
What if the relationship I want to work on is not a romantic one?
Good, because the book is written for all of them: romantic, family, friendships, and work. The approach is the same. You start with whichever relationship matters most to you right now.
I have already tried therapy and coaching. Why is this different?
Most of what you have tried works on the other person or on the talking. This works on your own state, your vision, your expectations and your boundaries, which is the part that comes home with you. It works because you take yourself everywhere you go.